is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
