we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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