There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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