this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
