I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
When are your genitals available?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
