I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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