I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
