With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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