2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
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i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
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how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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