I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
