She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
