I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
where am i from again
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
