I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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