Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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