): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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