1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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