ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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