i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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