I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
