I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
