Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
