just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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