i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize