I want to have your abortion
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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