So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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