This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Life is so much better after having sex.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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