Already got asked if we're dating
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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