NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
