Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
