He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
