Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
