I'm jealous of your bromance
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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