sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
