shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
