If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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