Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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