Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
