I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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