So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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