Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize