this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize