I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
