You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Too much gin, very little bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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