I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
