I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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