Midget sex pt 2 tonight
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize