everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
