Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
