3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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