I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My vagina just clenched in fear
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
