Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
