Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
