This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
