Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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