I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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