So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
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I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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